Snakes in a house

"An angry man watches his wife try to escape from an extremely poisonous African tree snake."

A man in a car is watching a stick figure of a snake on a computer monitor in the passenger seat. Inside the house a woman is piling on one of item of clothing after another. She grabs all the pillows off her bed, ties a bandana around her head, then slowly moves out of the room while clutching all of the pillows. She moves some furniture and stands on it. Does she think that African tree snakes can't climb trees? Or furniture?

The snake shows up and hisses. Lightning strikes, she sees a cat, she screams, then the power goes out. She finds a lighter and flicks it on. She talks to the snake while waving the lighter in his face. "Why don't you just burn the snake?" I scream at her. She doesn't burn him. She just keeps waving the fire in his face. I'm thinking that the lighter is gonna run out of fuel, and then, of course, it does. The snake lunges, the woman screams.

The man in the car is still watching the computer. A police car passes him and he slides further down in the seat.

The woman in the house grabs a box of matches, lights one and throws it on the floor. Smart, I'm thinking. She keeps throwing matches until one ignites the floor. "Now you're scared, aren't you?" the woman asks the snake. The snake doesn't say anything. He just hisses and flicks his tongue.

"Why don't you just kill it, dummy," I say.

She doesn't heed my advice. Instead she begins running around the house."Gotta keep moving, gotta keep moving. Keep him confused," she pants. Oh no, the snake just magically appears in front of her. She screams and runs faster.

I turn the TV off, thankful that I only wasted five minutes of my life on that stupid movie.